The One Where The Sorting Hat Hates Ravenclaw

• Tylendel remembers he's got two vials of demon goo in vials, so he studies it. Rolls a natural 20 so studies the living shit out of this goo. He discerns it has flesh warping effects on anything with a living body, Dartin dips his fingernails in it and has no effect. 
• Whill shows us that he has a signet ring around his neck that was given by his patron. It has the symbol of a sorta Guy Fawkes mask on it, and Anise and Skari try to ascertain what deity/patron it is from. 
• We talk a bunch about other ideas to fix Whill
• We mention maybe reaching out to Madam Vorhoon - Anise mentions we have blackmail on her. Dartin told us she'd escaped hell before, and we know she deals in soul coins with the devils collect. We can tell the devils that we know where there is a stash of soul coins and a fugitive. 
• Zema sends her: 
  Vorhoon we request your help to fix our friend who suffers from demon ichor we are willing to pay we are in hell, zema
  Vorhoon replies:
  Only if you exonerate me, will I help
• Zema asks Dartin how to exonerate someone, he lists a big fuckton of tasks like go to her jailer in her plane of hell she was imprisoned, etc etc. We essentially decide that's a useless task. 
• Brek uses Whill's shield and gathers a few items from other items and fashions a sled for Whill to be dragged around on
• We head down the northern corridor and explore
• As we walk some Professor Xavier shit happens and blows our brains up. We take a bunch of damage, but it somehow fixes Balasar and Whill's arm and leg deformities! Yay! 
• Skari's tentacle arms and Whill's ears remain, however
• The party all heard a voice in pain cry out and ask for help, so we start rushing further in towards the crypt, as we believed it to be the Arch Reginald Fancypants we're here to find. 
• We head down and find a door that won't open. We push and shove and it doesn't move. Tylendel casts Detect Magic on it and sees a BUNCH of magic on the other side of the door pushing against the door and spilling through the cracks. 
• Skari casts Reduce on the door which shrinks it and sends it flying at us now that it isn't bound by the door frame anymore. 
• On the other side is a "Ascendance Room" which sounds like a room full of fucking stairs
• We find a room with a kiddie pool full of goo and a bunch of dead demons and Baldur's Gate-ians. Only one lives - an old dude in pain trying to claw a golden helmet off his head. Looks like Lord Bishop Swallows the Third whom we've been searching for. 
• There's a portal in the room and some demons come out and we FIGHT!
• Tylendel pulls Rowena Ravenclaw out of the water and towards himself, Skari and Anise so that they can maybe assist with the helmet while the rest of the party beat up some demons. 
• Skari casts Remove Curse on the helmet but it doesn't work, however he can feel two combating forces in the helmet that will take more than a simple spell to undo. He senses a divine source of magic, as well as a powerful demonic force that he identifies as Baphamet, the demon lord. 
• We kill the demons and finish the fight. Now to deal with what's-his-nuggets and his hat of scalding.