The One Where Where We're All Airborne

  • Since there's about 400 things on the board, we decide to try "horde mode" combat, where we group everything up together for initiative. It is scary. 
  • Anise and Tylendel start the aerial battle on griffons by shooting a scary bird-deer
  • Ezra does the sign of the cross and goes "holy heck" and blesses Anise, Zema and Balasar. I think he believes we're all going to die. 
  • Whill hides in the clouds
  • Brek flies up to the big ship full of baddies and casts Web on it, then sets it on fire. 
  • Archers start to fire back. They shoot little balls of fire, which then then shoot with an arrow and the fire balls detonate and rock our fucking worlds, and not in a good Henry Cavill way. 
  • Brek, Anise, Reya and Tylendel also take damage, as do their griffons. 
  • The ship then fires some massive ballistas, missing Balasar but hitting Ezra
  • All the terrifying bird-deers attack next and fuck us up
  • Back to our turn (phew!). Brek is close enough to the ship to hop onto the deck. When he lands on the deck, he is swarmed by a bunch of soldiers we didn't know were there. Fuckity fuck
  • Brek is like "SO LONG, GAY BOYS!" and casts thunderwave and it blasts 3 people off the side of the ship to plummet to their deserved deaths
  • Ezra joins the deck party while Balasar flutters about
  • Anise flies towards the ship and eldritch blasts a bird-deer till its dead.
  • Zema tolls a bird-deer to death. 
  • Tylendel tries to double-load his crossbow because he's a greedy bastard, and ends up shooting himself. He is wounded and taking damage every round. 
  • Although bleeding, Tylendel manages to still shoot a deer-bird dead. Was it deer-bird or bird-deer? Fuck it, terrifying either way.
  • Naranja, the orange bird that follows us around sometimes but we don't know why, starts glowing bright and blinds a motherfucker
  • Reya bashes a bird-deer in the face and Tarnis fucks off like a coward
  • We discover that Brek named his griffon Henry Cavill and now Tylendel considers sneak-attacking that treacherous bitch Brek for claiming he was "riding Henry Cavill" because aint NOBODY come between me and MY man. 
  • Brek casts some firebolts, they rock the ship and explosions ensue
  • Ballista crits Anise for a metric fucktruck of damage and she falls unconscious. thankfully her griffon was flying over the ship at the time so her carcass at least lands on the deck and not 2000 feet below
  • Soldiers on the deck start attacking Brek and more importantly, the griffon Henry Cavill
  • Anise passes her first death save
  • Ezra lays on hands her for 43 fucking points of health, so she's tickety-boo again
  • Balasar lands on the deck but a commoner outstrengths this massive dragonborn warrior somehow 
  • Whill goes invisible and makes his griffon, Beakface, invisible too
  • Tylendel stops his wound from bleeding by shoving a piece of his shirt in there like some medieval tampon
  • Brek releases 1500 ball bearings on the deck of the ship, a whole bunch fall into a grated floor and into the hull of the ship where we hear a bunch more soldiers
  • Naranja hits a motherfucker and then spins the god damn wheel and the ship careens to the left and everyone on deck slides all over the god damn place. Some bad guys fall overboard 
  • Brek throws a bottle of highly explosive alcohol into the grate leading below into the hull of the ship and it explodes.
  • Since there were like 500 ball bearings down there, it causes a shitton of shrapnel damage and blows a big whole into the hull of the ship. Some people get sucked out of the hole
  • The ship is now listing badly and we're pretty sure this won't end well. 
  • *dramatic music*

Comments

Popular Posts