The One Where A Soldier Gets Liu Kanged Overboard

• Reya lands with her griffon on the deck and tries to heal herself but she's lame and fails
• Henry Cavill dies. The griffon, and not my soul mate / man crush - thank God. I'm not sure what I would do otherwise. 
• Balasar ripostes a soldier for a bunch of damage, whatever that means
• Whill starts blindly throwing items from the treasure chests into his bag of holding and hopes nothing will make it all explode
• Brek deep throats two potions of healing
• Tylendel jumps on nearby soldier's shoulders, shoves Snugglow down his throat and pulls the trigger to dump acid. 
• Everyone is grossed out but impressed
• Balasar is inspired by Tylendel and uses his acid breath on the soldiers attacking him but it only does baby damage. 
• Zema mass heals the few party members that were near death
• Anise lets Ezra go now that he is conscious again and heads over to attack the garbage person that dared kill Henry Cavill (again, the griffon, not my sun and stars). 
• Reya's griffon ditches that boring bitch and helps Balasar instead because its master is a giant pile of cum rags
• Tarnis kills someone down below but we don't really know or care because who the fuck is Tarnis anyways
• Narik the talking Squirrel somehow stops the ship from listing and I guess takes control of the steering
• Anise kills the last archer and as he dies, he drops a bunch of his exploding projectile balls and she just points at them and says "Oh shit!"
• Soldiers attack Tylendel but they all miss as he's still riding that one dude's shoulders like a champ
• Balasar ripostes again and kills a dude
• Zema gets attacked but hellish rebukes that motherfucker
• Whill keeps looting chests secretly and gets a bunch more cool shit
• Ezra does the sign of the cross and blesses Brek, Balasar, Anise and Tylendel
• Tylendel kills a soldier
• Balasar criticals and kills a soldier
• Anise asks the captain of the ship to surrender but he's all "never!" so she eldritch blasts him 
• Narik comes back to the deck holding a little elemental made out of rubies in his hands and we're all "what the fuck?"
• Soldier attacks Brek and crits him, but Ezra is all "nah-uh bitchface" and uses his divinity to rebuke the violent which causes the soldier to take that same damage and he dies
• Beakface is getting royally fucked up because Whill totally abandoned him while he pillaged the lower decks
• Ezra flies to help poor Beakface
• Tylendel sees the last soldier standing near the edge so he runs and does a Liu Kang bicycle kick and boots him over the edge of the ship
• Anise murders the captain dead and then looks at his pretty magic sword and makes a note to steal it before we blow this fascist popsicle stand